JUMP

I took a deep breath, 'jump', the voice whispered inside my head. 'Why aren't you jumping? Don't hesitate. They won't miss you.' 'They will,' I tell it, desperately trying to give myself a reason. 'No, they won't,' the voice whispers loudly. As I stand on the ledge, I try to place the voice. The first time I heard it, it sounded like a girl in my class who used to bully me. I heard it for the first time when my mother told me that I had no talent and was a disappointment. It had whispered into my ear, softly, in an almost caressing manner, 'she hates you. You are such a failure.' I had hurriedly pushed it away but the words stayed with me, replaying like a broken cassette. The voice would come, suddenly, every now and then, trying to claw itself out of the grave I had buried it in. The voice smiled a smile of victory the day my father called me slut. It climbed out of the grave and with my own voice said, 'he's right you know. Who could ever love such a filthy girl like you? The world would be a better place without you in it. My goodness, such a failure has never been seen before.' I didn't have the strength to dig the grave again and so I let it in and it creeped in, slowly, carefully so as to not enrage me. It creeped into my heart and my mind, making for itself a comfy room filled all kinds of glamour and watched me unfold. I take a step forward but I hesitate and move back. 'Do it,' it cries, exasperation settling in it's voice. 'Don't think about it, just do it!' I take that last step forward and jump.